Laura Walters and Jake Kozak – Sacramento, California
Jake knew Laura was engage. He can be reashed at 916-216-5222
On August 18th, I got into an argument with Matt and said somethings about my relationship that I now regret. Per Laura to be more specific, I identified thing she lacked in the relationship. This apparently triggered Laura's past unresolved issue form her abusive marriage. (That is fine, put how do you handle this? You go to therapy or you talk about it. You don't go to another man's house and stay the night. I am sorry I hurt your feelings, I really am, but your response is disproportionate.)
Unknown to me Laura and Matt later left that night to go to a former client's house where Laura drank heavily while taking prescribed sleeping medicine (Your right Laura I have done this with one serving not 3/4 of Costco Bottle of Techilia between two adults and I have 110 lbs on you. There is no comparison). She was unable to drive so she had Matt who is unlicensed (I stand corrected he had a permit) drive home (Laura justified this as better than her driving home/Cognitive Dissonance right? But, Matt later told me he had also had a few shots). When I found out about this next day I was critical of what Laura did but I was forgiving of her. (Laura says she told me about this but it was only because I thought she was sick when I woke up and found her on the couch with a trashcan to throw up in and tissue all over the floor.)
Laura went out the next night saying she was going to Anna's house by herself. She text me the next morning to tell me she just fell asleep on the couch (I thought it was at Anna's house, she never told me about the client). I later learned that she went back over to same client's house and staid the night.
Laura broke up with me and ended our relationship on the morning of August 22nd. Since that time, while still living together (went to two therapy sessions) I was repeatedly lied to and told we would work on our relationship. (Laura says she made it clear that we were just friends which in her mind made her single able to go hang out with her client. She did not clearly state this to me until mid October when I was in Portland).
Then on our second therapy session she asked to physically separate and move out. She has continue to date (or how she defines it "hang out" with) this former client, behind my back and even brought him over to our home while I was away on training to watch a movie. (You have to understand this started with a week or so after the break up! Our roommate told me about this because it made her feel uncomfortable with all the pictures of us up. Laura did not tell me until I indirectly asked about the pizza boxes in the trash.)
She has deliberately lied and told me she was on a school trip when they were actually out on a dates and drak a beer.(To be clear, she told me it was school trip and that I could not go. But I remember it being odd because I felt that was not the truth. She told me the client was there and that none of her classmates showed up when she got back. If I could not go why was he able to? Laura got an A on the paper after I proofed it for her. I took the high road and said nothing when she talked in the paper about how relaxed she felt drinking a beer with him. That was really hard, I cried.).
I am not innocent in all of this either but I did not cheat emotionally or physically. We both lost focus on what was important. But that does not mean you give up! You talk and build better communication. I was too focused on the licensure exam that I did not listen to what Laura wanted for the wedding. I was focused on getting a job so I could pay for it. We did not communicate this to each other. I also took her love for granted because I felt she would never lose the intensity. I was wrong.
I recently found text logs (going back months) in which they text each other more than 30 times a day, all day and night, but Laura maintains they are just friends. (She says this is not cheating but what she does not understand is that she initiated the relationship before breaking up with me. So that makes it okay and not cheating?) I can't see this any other way. (Laura later understood how disrespectful of my feelings this was to me in a text conversation.)
So many of you have been helped me through this the last few months and I am grateful! I just can't take the lies any more.
Matt was so kind to take a video of the first night she got drunk while her client (I did tell Laura I had deleted all of the evidence from that night because I wanted her trust but nothing is ever really deleted from a computer unless you clean the hard drive and is recoverable, but in her eyes this makes me a lier too, I believe) . I thought I would share it with you.
After nine years I do not deserve to be treated like this and yes I am hurting, yes may be doing this out of spite but it has been less than four months since this time and it started before we broke up. I just want the truth to come out. These two videos are from the first night while we were still engaged (Laura, says there is not relationship in the video. Ah, that is why they are sitting so close together and then can hear Matt calling them "love birds." She admitted to making a mistake by drinking. You cannot blame the alcohol. Hum, and later they grown into more than just friends. I know what to call it!) Laura does not get it that this is a former, recent, client she is in a relationship with which is violation of the ethical standards in our field (Yes, she is a technician but you are held to standard of care and trust. This client has Bipolar Disorder [a HIPPA violation by telling me this and learning his real name, and personal information without consent]). I can in no way rationalize what you have done as appropriate. I have tried for some time to try and see it your way but you were unhappy with our relationship and never gave me the chance to change when I asked you several times and offered to pay for couples counseling. Laura, you had already made the decision to date the client on the first night. Blaming it on the relationship or me needing to work on my issue is cognitive dissonance which reduces your internal distress from the desired outcome. Until this I never acted in this way. You handled this immaturely. You have hurt me beyond repair! I will never be the same after this, ever! You told me you wanted to break up before we resented or hatted each other as well. Well, you have accomplished the latter. You already had you sights on someone else before the break up and had to have conversations with him prior that lead you in that direction. That is cheating! That is why you went there in the first place! This evidence will be part of complaint I am working on against you.